


Hands-On Approach

by NoBrandHero



Series: Constants & Variables: A Species Swap AU [7]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Awkward First Times, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Foreplay, Species Swap, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-01 20:15:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6534823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoBrandHero/pseuds/NoBrandHero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave is totally not nervous about doing it for the first time with his weird, blind, alien girlfriend. He is especially not nervous about the fact he agreed to let her fondle him beforehand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hands-On Approach

**Author's Note:**

> ...I should have posted this ages ago but I was too chicken because I've never written anything resembling smut before. I just... really enjoyed the dynamics of human!Terezi viewing troll!Dave through her fingertips and their quips at each other, and I wanted to see how those interactions continued after they grew closer, so... here's a bunch of pointless Daverezi foreplay! Meep!
> 
> I should warn that this has moments that may not bode well with readers sensitive to subjects such as the gendering of anatomy. I tried to re-word some of it, but it makes the dialogue unbelievable for these characters in the context, so I'm just being upfront about their iffy word choices instead.

They really should have started with Alien Anatomy 101. Instead they sat on Terezi's cushy sleeping slab and tried to pretend they weren't being awkward.

"You strip first," Terezi said, interrupting Dave mid-sentence during one of his spiels about... he didn't even remember what; it was gone that fast. He was just trying to distract himself.

"Shouldn't we flip a coin on this?" he said.

"No, the coin flip is only for when I'm feeling mixed on something," she said with a casual shrug. "I'm pretty damn sold on the idea of you stripping first."

"Why the hell should I go first?"

"You've got more experience being naked in front of me, dumbass." She reached over and gave the bottom of his shirt a tug.

He just watched her with apprehension. "Having your blindass eyes on my body when I'm getting changed is not the same as having your hands on it."

"You scared of my cold, clammy hands feeling up your junk?" She flexed her fingers at him.

Her temperature had nothing to do with it, but she'd still hit on "scared" and he internally cringed. "Maybe I'm just impatient to see you," he said in hopes of deflecting her.

"You're going to make the _blind girl_ wait, Dave?" She scoffed so naturally he'd almost believe she was offended. "I don't even get to _see_ anything. I should at least get first dibs on not-seeing you naked."

He was pretty damn sure it made more sense to let the seeing person get first dibs when they were the one on schedule for fondling instead of just showing off, but he couldn't balk too much without letting on how nervous he was. "So you're asking for special treatment." He pulled his shades off and set them on the nightstand, since there was no way he was winning this argument.

She must have heard the quiet clicks of plastic because her grin grew wider in triumph. " _Demanding_ it."

"Well, shit. How am I supposed to refuse that?"

"You can't. It's a demand."

"Someone's drunk on power." He stood as he caught his shirt and pulled it off.

The way her eyes followed the swooshes of fabric against skin, he'd almost think she wasn't blind. Her expectant and not remotely satisfied expression shattered that illusion pretty fast.

They were both silent until his entire outfit sat in an untidy pile next to the bed. He'd never felt uncomfortable being naked in front of her, but he'd always been on the way to the ablution chamber or to grab fresh clothes and she _couldn't see_.

"So now what?" he said in monotone.

She patted the sleeping slab and scooted over to make room. "Lie on your stomach."

Perfect. Start the affair in a vulnerable position. No big.

He climbed onto the mattress and lowered himself as instructed, glancing over his shoulder at her. She scooted closer on her knees until she bumped into him. Tracing his sides, her hands made their way up to his shoulders. She stroked them.

"Ready?" she said.

He raised an eyebrow. "You're asking?"

"I could always start groping without warning, that's fine by me." She gave his shoulders a squeeze -- that felt good actually -- but didn't touch anything she wasn't already pretty familiar with in their regular makeouts.

"Yeah," he said, holding back a sigh, "have a fucking field day, T'z. I'm ready."

Her hands dropped below his shoulders, slowly trailing across every inch of his back.

"You guys really do have similar anatomy. Here're your shoulderblades 'n here's your spine," she said as she massaged the anatomy she named. Her hands traveled all across his back, from side to side as she made her way down. They even skirted over his sides and that's where she hesitated for the first time. "Hey," she ran her hands over his grub scars, tracing their edges, "what are these?"

"Grub scars," he said with as close to a shrug as he could get lying on his front. "It's where my wiggler feet shed after pupation."

Her fingers prodded the scars. "You had extra feet as a baby?"

"We look pretty damn different right after we're hatched."

She snorted. "You sound like butterflies. Human babies just grow bigger and get better proportions for walking upright." Her hands moved on, pausing in their search only when they ran across his next set of scars. "Grub scars?" she said.

"Grub scars."

"Lots of extra feet, got it." She gave them a quick rub before sliding her hands to his torso pillar and following it to the end of his back. She paused only for a moment before moving lower. She smirked. "At least I already knew alien asses don't change that much." She squeezed for effect.

"Lucky you. You've got a pretty fine specimen to sample."

"So I feel." She rubbed around it a few more times before adjusting herself to give his legs a once-over. She seemed unsurprised with what she found, but the touch felt oddly relaxing as she rubbed into his muscles. He was almost disappointed when she told him to turn over.

She crawled up to start her fondling over from the top, patting his shoulders before moving down. His chest made her hesitate almost right away and she rubbed her palms all over it, even in areas she'd already searched. Her forehead creased. "No nipples?"

He snorted. "No what?" Normally he could at least guess what her weird human anatomy words meant.

"Nipples." She rubbed at a spot on either side of his chest. "Useless little off-color bumps."

"Sounds like a disease."

She laughed. "You'll see some soon enough." Her fingers traveled to his sides, sliding over his scars again. "Are these..."

"Grub scars, other side."

She nodded and didn't even pause for the other sets. She made it most of the way down his torso, until she reached the middle of his stomach, where again she stopped and retraced her steps as if searching for something. "You don't have a bellybutton either?"

He raised an eyebrow. "You guys have _buttons_ on your stomach?"

"So literal, coolkid," she said. "Wait your turn and you'll find out what I mean."

Her hands dipped down and to his shock they slipped right passed either side of the groin, moving straight onto his legs instead. It wasn't until she'd had her fill of examining his toes that she moved back to the one last unexplored area.

She held a hand on each of his thighs but stopped there. If she could see, she'd have been staring right at his crotch like a confused pervert. "Last chance to run away, coolkid."

"It's nothin' to run away from," he said, managing a small smirk.

She accepted that answer and moved in. He spent all of his concentration on _not_ physically reacting as her fingers slid over his bulge sheath. For the first time that he'd noticed, her face turned not just confused but downright concerned.

Well, fuck, _that_ wasn't nerve-racking.

For once she didn't say anything and he didn't know whether to count that as a good or really fucking bad sign. Her fingers searched further between his legs until they reached the edge of his nook. He bit his lip to prevent gasping as her fingertips slipped into the opening.

"What's this?" she said, moving two fingers back and forth just inside his nook, no doubt clueless of what that was doing to his hormone levels.

"That's..." He had to swallow, completely thrown by how different it was to have someone else's hands putting pressure on him. "That's the nook."

"Ohhh," she said with a look of recognition. "Is it sensitive or something?" Before waiting for an answer, she dug her fingers in as deep as they would go.

Aaaand his voice was too far gone to have a chance in hell of answering. His voice had packed its bags and headed for vacation, left a passive-aggressive note behind with instructions not to call. Wasn't even going to send a postcard.

She kept wriggling her fingers and he was bombarded with conflicting internal screams of _oh god why (don't stop) that's not fair get out of there (don't you dare stop) this is shredding my dignity just stop (dignity can go fuck itself)._

"The nook's not all you've got going on down here, is it?" Her voice was light, as if she was trying to crack a joke, but she still looked concerned. "By human standards, this would kind of make you a girl."

He didn't dare open his mouth -- there were too many moans threatening to escape -- but he caught her free wrist with a slightly trembling hand and dragged her attention back to the bulge sheath. It was slowly but surely prying open, with all the work she was doing on his nook.

The worry on her face faded as she felt it. "Don't tell me. This is the bulge." She finally pulled her fingers out of his nook _thank god (goddammit)_ and used both hands to coax his bulge fully out.

He took a couple of deep breaths before daring to use his voice again. "Yeah. And that one's sensitive as _fuck_ so don't... don't go _squeezing_ it or anything stupid."

She nodded a little too absent-mindedly for his taste as she ran her palm along the length of his bulge. It made him shiver, but at least he had control of his voice. Somewhat.

"What color is it?"

He had to concentrate to answer without a stutter. "Still gray."

She grinned. "Is it always this slimy or are you just happy to see me?"

"It's always like that, you fucking perv."

She let out a mock disappointed whine. "This goop's not poisonous or anything, is it?"

He furrowed his brow. "Why the fuck would it be poisonous?"

"Just checking," she said with a shrug before dipping her head down.

He pieced together what she was doing half a second before her tongue was on him and _oh holy fucking what even._ His mind exploded, coherent thought thrown far, far out the window. He couldn't even find it in himself to be embarrassed when he let out a moan so loud that it almost sounded like a shriek.

He stared at the ceiling, paralyzed in... in... whatever the fuck it was. It felt _good_ but to the point it bordered on terrifying. It was all he could do to remember to breathe. _Fuck._ His body was never meant to handle that much unfiltered, unadulterated, unironic bliss.

She crawled up the mattress until their eyes were about even. "How was that?"

"Sh... shit, T'z," was all he could manage.

She stroked both sides of his face. "You blushing?"

"No," he barely breathed.

"Okay, coolkid, but your face is pretty warm," she said with a smirk.

She slid her hands up to caress his horns and kissed him. It was oddly chaste after everything else, but right then it was perfect. She kept the kisses short and sweet, never giving him more than a second to catch his breath, until he'd relaxed and his sheath was back in place. She deepened the kiss and ran her tongue along the back of his teeth, as if she knew he was still nervous about nipping her and was taunting him for it.

The next time she surfaced for air, he caught her forehead to keep her from leaning down for another go. "You're dawdling."

Her eyebrows raised as if she might deny it, but instead she said, "You're impatient."

"I'm cold."

She laughed and rubbed her arms over his sides. "Does that help?"

He shivered. "Yeah, not really."

She caught the edge of a sheet and flopped it over him. "Mm, maybe I should bundle you up and we can try this again on a day that you're not so sensitive to the elements."

He scowled. "Sensitive my ass."

Her fingers stroked at his hips. "Yes, it will be, after I'm through with it."

"Oh my god."

She cackled and cupped his face, kissing him roughly. It turned softer as it continued, until she finally pulled away and murmured, "Okay, Dave. My turn."

She climbed off of him, stroking his face until he was out of reach, and sat on the edge of the bed. She pulled off her glasses and he sat up, taking them from her to set them next to his own pair of shades on the nightstand. She smiled and stood, her back to him, and pulled off her shirt.

So far, so good. Her clothing was tight enough that her figure was no surprise and the only thing that set her apart from a half-naked troll was skin color, until she turned around. There was a small indent in the middle of her stomach, less than an inch long.

"What is that?" he said. He softened his voice because for once in his life he really didn't want her to think he was unimpressed or indifferent.

She poked at it. "This? It's the bellybutton."

"What's it for?"

She shrugged. "Nothing anymore. It's kinda like your grub scars."

He nodded and leaned in to get a better look. There were lines inside the indent, but he couldn't make them out.

"You can touch it, you know," she said when they were quiet for too long. "I would."

He held out a hand and hesitated, glancing at her, but she just grinned and didn't rescind the offer. He slipped a finger against her bellybutton. She jerked and let out a high pitched giggle, and he yanked his hand back.

"S-sorry!" She laughed again and patted his hand when she found it. "Just ticklish. Keep going, you're fine."

With a frown, he pressed his finger against her stomach again, careful to keep his claw from digging in. The sides of the bellybutton were as soft as the rest of her skin, but it felt a little strange deeper in. She bit her lip, trying to hold in her quiet giggles.

She reached behind her back to unstrap her bra the instant he pulled away. He straightened up to get a better look as she pulled the fabric away from her breasts. They looked mostly like a female troll's chest -- maybe a little small, but nothing wrong with that -- except for the brown spots at the tips, including an odd protrusion. They really did look diseased.

"So." He studied them a moment longer. So long as they were healthy for her species, he could get used to them. They were cute. Hell yeah, he was getting the hang of this. "Those are nipples."

"Yep."

"Do _they_ have a purpose?"

"Feeding our young."

He stared up at her, looking for a sign that she was fucking with him. "What."

She poked at the protrusions. "Yep, when human women are incubating their larvae, these suckers fill up on baby food. My boobs are all-natural sippy cups."

He furrowed his brow. On the one hand, he'd barely followed that, but on the other, he wasn't sure he wanted to follow it. Human reproduction was fucking weird.

"You can touch these too, you know." She lifted a breast with a couple of fingers and let it drop.

"Unlike one of us, I can appreciate your hot alien bod with my perfectly functioning gander bulbs."

She rolled her eyes, still grinning. "You're rejecting my offer to let you have twice the fun?"

He scooted to the edge of the mattress. "Well, if you're gonna be fucking pushy about it..." He reached out.

Like the rest of human skin, her chest was soft and warm and fragile. The brown areas around the protrusion seemed even softer, but after a moment of pressing against them they grew stiff. Terezi just shut her eyes and sighed.

"Uh..." He paused. "This supposed to happen?"

"Hm?" She furrowed her brow before she seemed to catch on. "Oh. Yeah, they're just a little sensitive, it's fine."

He massaged at her chest again, watching her face. "Thanks for the warning."

"Didn't know you were so easily startled." She sighed again and her smile was softer than usual; Dave made a mental note that humans enjoyed chest massages.

He let up after a few more seconds and scooted back onto the sleeping slab. She looked a little disappointed but recovered by suggestively hooking her thumbs into the waistline of her jeans.

"All done oggling my freaky human torso?" she said, waggling her eyebrows.

"Never." He returned her smirk. "I can oggle two things at once. It's a special ability granted to those of us with two working gander bulbs."

"Very impressive. Guess it won't be a waste if I do this, then." She slid her jeans off, only her underwear keeping her from being as nude as he was.

There were no surprises with her legs. Well. Aside from the surprise that they looked like troll legs, other than the pink skin. He'd assumed she'd probably have hair on her legs like she had little hairs along her arms, but they looked pretty bare from where he was sitting.

"How's that for oggling material?" she said, turning in place to show off every angle.

"Can't complain," he said. "Anyone'd be hard pressed to find better oggling material. If someone were stranded on a desert island and could only choose to bring one person to oggle, they'd be criminally insane if they didn't ask for Terezi Pyrope. No one would rescue them from that island because they knew it was a place where only madness lay. You're a sign of sanity, T'z." (She was beautiful.)

Her smile seemed less manic than usual, almost pleased. She fumbled for him and caught his hands before leaning in to kiss him. "You ready for the big finale?" she whispered as she pulled back, licking his saliva from her lips.

"The largest usher in the whole theatre couldn't intimidate me into abandoning this seat. A screeching lusus in the front row wouldn't tempt me to leave before the end. I've too big a crush on the main performer."

She kissed his forehead and for the first time looked a little unsure of herself. "It's going to be different."

"I gathered that." He stroked her bangs. "Terezi, we could be so anatomically incompatible that we'd have to settle for mutual masturbation and that would be good e-fucking-nough for me."

She ran her hands across his chest. "Lucky for us, I don't think it'll be _that_ extreme." She breathed deeply before stepping away and turning her back to him. She slipped her underwear off and gave him a good look at her ass before slowly facing him again.

It was different, but it wasn't as bad as he was bracing himself for. Mostly he just saw hair. (The more he thought on it, it was _really_ weird how bare her legs were in comparison to the rest of the human body.)

"Well?" she said, scowling in impatience.

"Well, I don't really know what I'm looking at, but I don't see anything worrisome either."

Her mouth twitched into a smile again. "How many times am I going to have to remind you that touching is encouraged at this show, coolkid?"

"Isn't it sensitive?"

"You implying I can't trust you to be careful?"

They locked gazes and he wondered if she had any idea they'd done so. "Fair enough."

He gave her plenty of time to change her mind as he reached out and he was ready to withdraw the instant he made contact, but she never balked.

The hair was curled and felt coarse compared to the strands on her head. He couldn't seem to find any sort of bulge sheath, but he felt a gap and slipped his fingers in, more aware of his claws than he could remember in his life. There was something there, small and kind of squishy and- He tried not to jerk back as she groaned.

"You're fine, you're fine," she mumbled, her eyes half-lidded.

He felt around it again and she shivered. "What is this?" he said.

"A clit."

Somehow he'd expected to hear one of the words Vantas had thrown his way in the past, but that one rang unfamiliar. "Does it... expand or anything?"

"No, that's pretty much its full size. It's easily stimulated but it doesn't actually _do_ anything, sex-wise." She sighed. "Dave, I know what you're thinking of, but human women don't really have bulges. Men kind of do, but they're lacking in nooks to make up for it."

Well that... explained a lot. About a lot of things, actually, regarding humans. Maybe even their "homosexual" thing had some level of logic to it, with anatomical differences that extreme.

He wondered what it would be like to have a sex partner without a bulge, but it didn't really matter. (She had already used her fingers just as well as a bulge anyway, but he was _not_ thinking about that.) If it turned out to be a problem, they'd figure something out. "I'm okay with that."

Her smile looked relieved and her posture relaxed. "You wanna keep going?"

He obliged, sliding his fingers back until he found an opening. It was smaller than a nook -- well, provided his nook was anything to go by, seeing as he had no other examples -- but it otherwise felt familiar. "This your nook then?"

She shivered again and nodded. "Not what we call it, but yeah." Her voice was heavy. "So _shy,_ coolkid."

Fine then, at least he knew what he was doing with a nook. He slid his fingers in and stroked.

She moaned with a satisfied smile. "Much better." She didn't let him work very long. She caught him by his chin and pulled him to his feet so she could kiss him. "So I hear the encore tonight's a duet."

"Yeah, but the song's pretty experimental. No one's really sure what to expect from it."

"I'm okay with that." She kissed him again.

"So'm I," he mumbled into her mouth.

She pushed him back onto the mattress and lay next to him, her lips never leaving his skin for more than a second. He returned the affection and cupped the back of her head.

Her fingers slid to his nook again, using the sensation to coax out his bulge as if she'd done it a thousand times before. Shit, they hadn't even considered whether a troll bulge would actually fit with a human nook, but too late to break out the measuring sticks. It was do or die as she slowly, carefully eased it in.

It was a tight fit, probably tighter than it should have been if they wanted to do shit properly. Why did humans have to be so fucking fragile compared to trolls? As she gripped him by the shoulders and wrapped her leg tight against his, he lost the ability to actually give a shit that he couldn't move as freely as he might have with a troll lover. It was good enough. They'd just improvise.

He should have been mortified by the gasps and cries that slipped out of his throat, except she was making them with him and it felt so right to reply in kind. It didn't matter that they had no idea what the fuck they were doing; they sank into each other's embrace and to hell with doing it right so long as it didn't hurt.

She didn't need to use a bucket and he didn't need to be handled with care, but as far as he was concerned they'd been hatched for each other. They collapsed against the mattress together afterwards, breathing heavily. She tucked her head under his chin and he wrapped his arms tight around her and that alone was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> And that's apparently what happens when a sex-repulsed writer attempts smut! I would describe my writing process as thus: *SCREAMING AND FLAILING*


End file.
